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M’s Management Out of Cash: Can’t Convince Fans That Winter’s Over Monday, January 10, 2011

Posted by mrgenre in Mariners.
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GM Jack Zduriencik has made some incredible moves the past two seasons, with the acquisition and unloading of All-Star Cliff Lee easily topping that list.  Fans all over the Northwest sport t-shirts with the phrase “In Jack We Trust.”  And despite the abysmal performance of the Mariners in 2010, there’s still a lot of reasons to look for success in the future of this franchise.  The only problem as far as M’s management sees it, is a lack of funding.

“We’re strapped,” said club President Chuck Armstrong on Sunday night.  “I can’t really say where it all went, but we’re down and out financially.  We’ll be lucky if we don’t have to raise season ticket prices again.”

But despite these assertions from various team sources, the average fan just can’t seem to see past that.

“Things are looking up,” said local fan John Bremston from Bellevue.  “We just need to add a big bat, some pitching, and trade for a few prospects this winter, and we’ll be all set to win this year.  I know Jack won’t let us down.”

Other fans are less positive, but still expecting more from this offseason.

“We’re still building for the future, obviously,” said Spokane native Ryan Seeger.  “But there are a number of decent free agents out there that will let us compete this season.  A little more pop and this team’s gold.”

Armstrong can’t seem to get his point across.

“What do they want us to do?  [Milton] Bradley’s eating up 12 million and he’ll be riding pine all season.  We can’t trade Aardsma like we thought.  We already signed Olivo and Ryan to new deals.  Without a sudden influx of cash, we’re done,” Armstrong complained while snacking on a half eaten sandwich he found just outside Safeco’s left field entrance.

Mariners CEO Howard Lincoln had even bleaker view of the situation.

“Not only are we short, but we owe money.  Lots of it.  And Ichiro doesn’t take kindly to a late paycheck” Lincoln shuddered.  “He already took away my Wii.  I can’t live like this.”

(from left to right) Howard Lincoln, Jack Zduriencik and Chuck Armstrong hanging out on Edgar Martinez Drive Monday morning.

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