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Milton Bradley Begins Annual Breakdown Friday, April 8, 2011

Posted by mrgenre in Mariners.
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Photo courtesy ESPN.com

With a 6 game home stand beginning tonight, left fielder Milton Bradley has decided to begin having his annual mental breakdown.  Despite a .333 average through 6 games and leading the team in hits, Bradley insists that everyone is out to get him.

“Sure I’ve got some hits,” said Bradley Friday morning, “But did I knock anyone in?  Nope.  My team’s deliberately hurting my statistics.”

While true that Bradley is the only regular position player without a run batted in, his accusations have elevated to a point that assures a total breakdown in the coming weeks.

“Where the [expletive] are my sunflower seeds?” Bradley screamed at the Ichiro bobblehead above his locker.  “Little [expletive] is always stealing my sunflower seeds.”

Along with theft, Bradley has also accused his teammates (and other inanimate objects) of playing horrible defense when he pitches, eating all the barbecue chicken wings before he gets there, not cleaning up their toothpaste mess in the sink, and hitting his wife.

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Comments»

1. Geoff - Friday, April 8, 2011

F1rst!!! LawL!!@!


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